"The Smurfs"
Wow, where to start. If you went to see this in the theaters because (I hope) of your 3 to 9 year old daughter, I feel sorry for you. Lets start with the music, if you want to simulate the entire movie soundtrack, have a small child with a squeaky voice yell "La La Lalala." in your ear for 1 and a half hours while ACDC (you heard me) plays in the background. Its the type of movie that makes you want to cut your wrists with one of those thick juice glasses. I do have to say, I only got to miss 15 minutes because my stupid cousin had to had to bandage my wrists. After I regained consciousness, the movie did not get better any better. I was very confused by Smurfette. She was created entirely to be a prostitute. In the words of Andre 3000, " She needs a golden calculator to divide." There is one good thing about this movie, if you need to go to sleep at a sleepover, you can just watch this. Instead of counting sheep, count smurfs, I guarantee you'll be asleep by sleepy.